Tangential Ramblings

New photos

dan — 8:46pm, Saturday 6 September 2008

Lots of new photos on my flickr site. Friends: email me if you have a flickr account but can't access any pictures of me (and indeed want to). I've left the pictures of landscapes, buildings etc. open to all, but restricted the permissions on the personal stuff to my friends and family.

The most recent upload is 240 photos from the last 15 years or so. Some fond memories indeed. All of them were scanned in by click2scan. Not the best resolution, but glad to have them digitised and a very professional service.

Boy Meets World

dan — 6:33pm, Thursday 21 August 2008

Congratulations to Corey, who passed a bunch of GCSEs today with a load of As and A*s. Not sure what A*s are (they didn't have them in my day, let me tell you), but apparently they're even better than As. Oh, and apparently he didn't do PE GCSE (who'd've thought there was such a thing), which makes him more intelligent than his peers, even if it also means he'll weigh 400lb (182kg) by the time he's 22.

A change in career path

dan — 8:16am, Thursday 14 August 2008

Arsenal fans will be sad to hear that I handed in my resignation as Arsenal's goalkeeper to Sven Goran Eriksson (Arsenal's manager, don't you know) overnight, particularly so soon before their first game of the Premier League against West Bromwich Albion on Saturday. It all started after I had to defend a free-kick taken from nine yards behind the left-hand goal post (my right post), out of play. I remember the distance, as Cristiano Ronaldo (playing for Arsenal) measured it with a yellow self-retracting tape measure. The ten yard rule meant that an attacking player (not sure which team, before you ask) could stand a yard in front of my post. They didn't. Instead, the free-kick looped over the crossbar into the field of play, but alas not into my field of vision as I was still looking towards the point from which the free-kick was taken when someone belted the ball into the net from around the penalty spot.

Immediately after the incident (mid-game), Cristiano took me aside into a pool hall to tell me that I was adversely affecting his career aspirations and his ability to win trophies. Fair point, I think. The conversation ended awkwardly, Cristiano giving me a playful slap around the head when I told him he was definitely Championship material. (I'd meant to say Champions League material.)

I then met with Sven (the game had now stopped for half-time) to hand in my resignation. He accepted this, agreeing that I was indeed a bit shit in my position as goalie. Instead he has given me an office position pulling together the information to feed their annual report.

I then woke up.

British Gas defection

dan — 8:57pm, Wednesday 13 August 2008

British Gas recently increased their gas prices by 35% and their electricity prices by 9%. That hurt. Today, I received a letter informing me that my monthly direct debit amount for gas (calculated by them) would be increased by 209% to be more in line with our usage and their increased prices. I reacted.

A terse conversation with British Gas resulted in the increase being reduced to 135% (based on actuals rather than estimates), which was better, but still rather unpalatable.

So I went to the market in search of alternatives. And shortly, our electricity will be provided by Scottish Power, 100% green. And our gas will be provided by Southern Electric, bizarrely enough.

Happy days.

Forty starts, forty ends

dan — 1:27pm, Saturday 9 August 2008

1. My uncle once: tripped up when I stuck my leg out at a party when I was a kid. Sorry.
2. Never in my life: have I ever done a bungee jump. I have little interest in doing one now either.
3. When I was five: I thought I�d got all my sums right, even after Mrs. Wallis put a cross next to them all.
4. High school was: something that came and went. It was OK. But they weren�t the best years of my life like everyone says they are. Oh, and I didn�t call it High School.
5. I will never forget: the first 22 digits of pi. I hope. (3.141592653589793238462) I learnt the first 20 decimal places, only to be asked the 21st by my boss. Obviously, I had to learn it.
6. Once I met: Boris Johnson. I presented to him actually�the results of a Spectator readership survey. He didn�t believe a word I had to say. Petronella Wyatt was there too.
7. There�s this girl I know: who�s not talking to me anymore. I have no idea why.
8. Once, at a bar: a metal, ornamental jug landed on my head, having fallen off a high shelf due to musical reverberations. I took it to the bar to complain. They thanked me for handing it in. I then went to the police station to report the incident. My friend hauled me out, which was wise. I was very, very drunk.
9. By noon, I�m usually: quite hungry. So I generally eat lunch.
10. Last night: I wrote six posts. I think that�s a single-day record. If not, it�s very close.
11. If only I had: remembered where my sunglasses were. I can�t find them anywhere.
12. Next time I go to church: will be for someone�s wedding, I expect. Or to next year�s summer fete.
13. What worries me most: is usually not what worries other people the most. I�m a bit weird like that.
14. When I turn my head left I see: some Olympic swimming on the telly. Everyone�s wearing those full body suit things. Adrian Moorhouse is commentating, and not doing a very good job at it.
15. When I turn my head right I see: our lovely newly-tiled balcony. It�s spitting though, so I won�t be going out there today.
16. You know I�m lying when: my body�s horizontal.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the music.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I�d be: dead by now, I suspect.
19. By this time next year: I�ll be a year older, maybe a year wiser. I�ll also have hopefully completed my proofreading and copy editing course. Not been very diligent on that front. I expect we�ll be up to around 1,500 posts on this blog, and maybe around 2,000 comments.
20. A better name for me would be: difficult to think of. I like my name.
21. I have a hard time understanding: Mandarin. And Arabic.
22. If I ever go back to school, I�ll: be a lot older than all the other kids.
23. You know I like you if: I engage you in conversation. If I don�t like people, I won�t go out of my way to talk to them, unless I have to for work of course. Or to order a sandwich.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: dependent on what the award was for. If it was for this blog, highly unlikely I know, I�d probably thank my wife for her dedicated indifference towards it.
25. Take my advice, never: eat celery, eat salmon sandwiches and remain young. That way you�ll know how to spell �necessary�.
26. My ideal breakfast is: Eggs Benedict with lovely fresh coffee, and freshly squeezed orange juice. My usual breakfast is either muesli or Bran Flakes.
27. A song I love but do not have is: Picture Book by the Kinks.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: keep driving. Don�t stop. Halifax has few redeeming features, beyond the Parish Church and the Piece Hall. You could pop in to my Mum�s for a coffee. I�ll let her know you�re coming.
29. Why won�t people: turn automatic spell-check on when they send emails from Outlook. Drives me mental!
30. If you spend a night at my house: could you give my daughter her 6.30am feed? That way I can have a lie-in. Ta.
31. I�d stop my wedding for: sure, given that I�m already married. I think it�s illegal to be married twice.
32. The world could do without: Comic Sans. And Times New Roman.
33. I�d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: that of a scorpion.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Reese Witherspoon. She's lovely.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: credit cards when trying to pick locks, I reckon.
36. If I do anything well it�s: certainly worth crowing about.
37. I can�t help but: obsess about grammar. And spelling. Oh, and I can�t help but blog either. I do enjoy it.
38. I usually cry: at emotional stuff. I�m a bit of a softie at heart, but according to some recent BBC articles, it�s OK for blokes to cry.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: is to have fun in life. And learn some stuff too.
40. And by the way: if you�re still reading, you�re quite a dedicated reader. Why not post a quick comment so that I can figure out how many people made it to the end. (This is the end, btw.)

(Ah, sorry. No it's not. Thanks to Anna for prompting me to do this.)

She meant voicebox. I think

dan — 8:55pm, Monday 14 July 2008

I called a lady about work today, only to hear the following voicemail message:

"Sorry. I can�t get to the phone. Please leave your details, I�ll check my box and get back to you."

I was caught off-guard. The schoolboy humour got to me. I had to hang up before getting a chance to leave her a message. Sorry.

Pocket rationalisation programme

dan — 9:14pm, Thursday 26 June 2008

The contents of my pockets are reaching mammoth proportions, and that's not me boasting!

As I posted some time ago, summer exacerbates the issue surrounding pocket contents, as there are more things to carry with you (sunglasses) with fewer pockets across which to distribute the contents (owing to the lack of coats and the like). Of late, my pockets are asked (at various parts of the day) to support some or all of: iPod, wallet, BlackBerry, phone (a chunky MDA Vario 3), keys, loose change, sunglasses.

Having done a benefits analysis, a pocket rationalisation programme has been commissioned which aims to significantly reduce the volume of artefacts that will be supported by my pockets. The programme will include a stream to assess the number of necessary objects, one to understand the most appropriate transportation device for the objects (pocket or other), and one to assess the volume of each�there is thought to be scope for reducing the volume of both the wallet and sunglasses case. There will be an underlying change management piece aimed at instilling new ways of working in myself to avoid future Costanza-esque wallet proportions.